Saturday, March 22, 2008

Results Of The November 2008 National Elections

This is a duplicate of a comment on the Huffington Post

The decline of Sen. Obama's quest for the Presidency and the likelihood of a Clinton nomination is a die that was cast the moment the Clinton campaign made the decision on the kitchen sink strategy before the Ohio/Texas primaries.

My sense is that Sen. Clinton will go into the Democratic convention with the tide on her side and will successfully convince enough superdelegates to get on board to secure the nomination. John McCain will defeat Sen. Clinton with what I predict as 60% of the popular vote to her 36-38%, depending on the level of activity of the Nader candidacy.

The only question the November election will decide is the fate of the current Democratic majorities in the House and Senate. The Senate is up for grabs with perhaps the Democrats maintaining a smaller majority in the House, but only if Sen. Clinton doesn't actively campaign for Democratic candidates.

Democrats might manage a comeback in 2012, but only if there is a major restructuring of the party to include a purge of its conservative DLC component, a rethinking of Democratic goals and ideals, and a more electable candidate than in this election cycle.

I'm bookmarking this post so that on November 5th I can rub everyone's nose in it. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Sunday, March 16, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Foreign political donations: was the Senator against them before he was for them, or vice versa? Related question: which member of the Senator's entourage will be going to jail for violating U.S. election law by accepting foreign donations?

Senator McCain as well as members of his staff adamantly denied there was anything remotely political about his trip to Europe and the Middle East this week. Shortly later, Jill Hazelbaker, McCain's campaign spokeswoman and former dirty tricks operative in the 2006 Senate campaign, said that Congress will be reimbursed for the political portions of the trip.

As part of his "non-political" trip, Senator McCain will attend a fundraising event hosted by British investment banker Lord Jacob Rothschild. Attendees are required to fork over between $1,000 and $2,300 for the honor. Oddly enought, $2,300 is the maximum legal donation a candidate can accept from an individual in the Presidential primary.

As is our policy, we are still awaiting a statement from Senator McCain which is neither delusional nor an outright lie. Extra points may be awarded for believability. Judges' decisions are final. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Presidential Interviews: Barack Obama Answers Several Charges Leveled Against Him And His Supporters

ANNOUNCER: Now our own Wendy Terwilliger grills Presidential candidate Barack Obama on new charges that have surfaced from the Clinton and McCain campaigns. Wendy?

WENDY: Thank you, Charles. Senator Obama, it has been charged that as many as several million of your supporters have had sex with a partner other than their spouse. Do you support such behavior by still accepting their support?

OBAMA: Thank you for that question, Wendy, and thank you for having me here today. As my Reverend, Jeremiah Wright, has said, hate the sin but love the sinner. I would have to say that, while I have nothing personally against fornicators, I do denounce and reject their actions.

WENDY: But you still accept their support? Doesn't that sound hypocritical?

OBAMA: Well, when you put it like that, Wendy, I do both reject and denounce their support. Absolutely.

WENDY: Senator, charges have also surfaced that additional millions of your supporters have lied to their employer about their health in order to get at least one fraudulent paid sick day. Do you support this kind of lying and fraud?

OBAMA: Of course not, Wendy. Lying and fraud are serious matters and no one should engage in such activity.

WENDY: And do you denounce and reject support from those people, as well?

OBAMA: Yes. Yes I do. I both denounce and reject support from liars and frauds.

WENDY: I hate to hammer you on these points, Senator, but it has also been reported that many millions of your supporters have driven vehicles, on the highway, after having imbibed alcoholic beverages, thus putting at risk millions of America's tiny babies. Do you denounce and reject these people as well?

OBAMA: I denounce and reject support from anyone who has ever had a drink and then driven. Absolutely.

WENDY: Thank you for appearing today, Senator. According to our instant polling it appears that after all your denunciations are totaled, there remains only one person who you have not denounced and rejected, an Independent voter in Maine who has never been in a town.

OBAMA: I denounce and reject him, as well. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Friday, March 14, 2008

Great Moments Of The Rich And Famous: Presidents Collection

President Taft's Claim to Fame Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Life, The Exploding Universe, And The Meaning Of Reality

If you have a lot of time on your hands, and you think about it really hard, for as much sense as it makes, the universe could just as well be constructed of chicken soup. It would obey the same laws of physics but would taste better than dark matter or the flames from a dying star.

I'm going to the kitchen to see if there's more of that wine left. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 8, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Today, Senator John McCain announced he wanted to rule over Hell.

Speaking before a crowd in Atlanta, Georgia, the Senator identified the location of Hell -- Washington, D.C. -- but avoided making the logical inference that this made McCain endorser George W. Bush the current King of Hell.

McCain, who up to now has been but a lowly Prince of Hell (U.S. Senator), also avoided commenting on the curious "Hot Dog Endorsement" by current King of Hell, Texas dandee George W. Bush, in his quest for overlordship of the infernal regions. McCain and the King reportedly shared hot dogs before announcing the King's endorsement.

Also not answered, the significance of the hot dog. Some have opined that it referred to Sen. McCain's status within the inner depths of the Republican Party as the "Hot Dog" candidate. Others have wondered if there wasn't some secret party ritual involved, similar to those perpetrated in the infamous Skull 'n Bones initiation the current King of Hell endured when pledging that secret society at Yale University back in his drinking and/or snorting days.

As is our policy, we are still awaiting a statement from Senator McCain which is neither delusional nor an outright lie.

Late-breaking afterthought: Wonder if Senator McCain's discovery of the location of Hell and his vow to pursue Osama bin Laden to the Gates of Hell means he will begin his pursuit in Chevy Chase, Maryland? Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Great Movie Ideas From Real Life, Part 1

Title: "Honey, I Shrunk the Lead"
Stars: Bill, Hil

Synopsis: Campaign managers tell startled Bill every time he speaks, Hil's voter backing shrinks. Bill mistakenly thinks this mean Hil's voters are actually, physically shrinking. Hilarity ensues. Bill finally confesses to Hil he doesn't really know what the Hil he's doing.

Roll credits. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

"Requiem For A Lightweight" In Which I Share Deep Thots About The Life And Times Of The Late Bill Buckley, Noted TV Huckster

Bill Buckley made only two mistakes in life:

  1. Creating the Conservative Movement.
  2. Letting the riffraff in.
Bill Buckley never met a contrarian he didn't copy, figuring out early in life how to make money promoting other peoples' bad ideas.

If Washington, D.C. is where good ideas go to die, Bill's magazine, the Weekly Standard, was where bad ideas went to be fruitful and multiply.

Although Bill was of the right, he was never right, a proud tradition carried on by his acolytes in what are today sarcastically called "think tanks."

Do "progressives" need their own Bill Buckley? It's a little like asking if liberals need their own Joe McCarthy.

Buckley hitched his wagon to the stars of billionaires with extreme right wing ideologies, ideologies that just happened to advance their own economic interests. That's really all one needs to know about Bill Buckley. All the rest, including his own circuitous rants, are mere window-dressing.

Bill's epitaph:

Here Lies William F. Buckley, Jr.
Again, and again, and again. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl