This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Today, Senator John McCain announced he wanted to rule over Hell.

Speaking before a crowd in Atlanta, Georgia, the Senator identified the location of Hell -- Washington, D.C. -- but avoided making the logical inference that this made McCain endorser George W. Bush the current King of Hell.

McCain, who up to now has been but a lowly Prince of Hell (U.S. Senator), also avoided commenting on the curious "Hot Dog Endorsement" by current King of Hell, Texas dandee George W. Bush, in his quest for overlordship of the infernal regions. McCain and the King reportedly shared hot dogs before announcing the King's endorsement.

Also not answered, the significance of the hot dog. Some have opined that it referred to Sen. McCain's status within the inner depths of the Republican Party as the "Hot Dog" candidate. Others have wondered if there wasn't some secret party ritual involved, similar to those perpetrated in the infamous Skull 'n Bones initiation the current King of Hell endured when pledging that secret society at Yale University back in his drinking and/or snorting days.

As is our policy, we are still awaiting a statement from Senator McCain which is neither delusional nor an outright lie.

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Late-breaking afterthought: Wonder if Senator McCain's discovery of the location of Hell and his vow to pursue Osama bin Laden to the Gates of Hell means he will begin his pursuit in Chevy Chase, Maryland?