Sunday, December 28, 2008

Why Ron Paul Keeps Getting Elected To Congress

Yeah, I know. It's usually a show-stopper for me, too whenever I see the words, "Ron Paul" in print.

Mr. Paul owns the distinction of falling for every half-wit and/or loony theory that has ever come down the pike in the history of the world, then waxing prolix about it in that boring-annoying way of his.

Most people credit his political longevity in Congress to the fact the voters in his district are morons.

I beg to differ. The voters of the Texas 14th Congressional District, stretching along the Gulf Coast from Mustang Island in the West to Chambers County in the East, are among the most highly intelligent people in the nation. They also have an extremely well developed and wicked sense of humor. I ought to know. I used to live there.

I can tell you for a fact that you can almost hear them thinking in the election booths just before they pull the handle for Rep. Paul. "Call us Lone Star voters morons, huh bub? Let's see how you deal with this jackass."

Which is pretty much what all Texans are thinking in the voting booth when choosing their Congressional delegation. Explains a lot, doesn't it? The Fighting Fourteenth is preeminent because it just happens to own the dullest tack in the box. And the best sense of humor. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

History Rhymes Again

Remember back in the Good Old Days when for years and years we were slaughtering all those pesky farmers in Southeast Asia because each succeeding President "didn't want to be the first American President to lose a war?"

Guess what. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Monday, December 22, 2008

I Saw An Ad On The Internet With Obama's IQ And Had My First Twinge Of Doubt

The ad said, "Obama's IQ is 128, Is your's higher?, Take this test and see."

I'd already taken the test, so I knew mine was higher. How weird is that? He got the Oval Office and all I got was this lousy blog.

But the frisson I felt wasn't about being theoretically smarter than the President of the United States, it was that number, "128."

You see, that was my late father's IQ. My father was a notorious con artist who specialized in faking different roles in life. In his time, he successfully faked being everything from a motor pool manager to a psychologist to a ship's captain.

Rather than put in the years on the job for the experience or go to school for the training, he'd simply go to a library, find a book on the subject, and show up the next day for the interview. He was always hired. Must have given a hell of an interview.

And he always got caught. He was smart enough to fake it, just not smart enough to avoid pissing somebody off so they'd try to get something on him. Background checks are a bitch.

It's a funny story how I found out my father's IQ, but I'll let it slide.

As for Obama, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Words You Don't Want To Hear In The Middle Of A Firefight With Space Aliens

"We need a bigger gun." Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Friday, December 19, 2008

Pentagon Calls Higher Number Of Rapes At Air Force Academy "Encouraging"

From the same folks who let Osama escape. Maybe we now know why they were so distracted. Full story here. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Great News For George W. Bush: The Legacy

Even though some overly excited opponents of the President have called him a Hitler, Mr. Bush can take comfort in the fact that no one has suggested that Hitler is another Bush. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Monday, October 6, 2008

If Men Had Boobs

If men had boobs, at least they'd have something to talk about besides football. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Shocking Change In Blogging Philosophy at Not An Expert

Henceforth, this blogger will refer to himself entirely in the third person.

That is all. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Idiots? What Idiots?

Courtesy of Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Friday, August 22, 2008

And Now, For Something Completely Different

Have I ever mentioned my childhood friend who, when he grew up, decided to have a sex-change operation so he could date lesbians?

Remind me later and I'll tell you about it. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Huffington Post Censors Protect The Republican Slime Machine

Alex Castellanos, one of the premier GOP hit men in the McCain Campaign (bio here), recently regurgitated one of his signature, fact-challenged Jeremiads at the Huffington Post, targeting Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Castellanos first fumes that on his European trip, "Obama was not only treated with respect, he was received enthusiastically, a public affront to an administration, lest we forget, still in power," then pats himself on the back with, "McCain's recent attacks have worked." Got to love these dead-enders.

In the spirit of pointing out that the Emperor isn't actually wearing any clothes, yours truly offered this scintillating observation:

Thanks for the laughs, Alex. Your post rivals some of best satires available here. Considering the fact that you admit you're on the McCain Campaign payroll in your bio info, I'll keep an open mind on whether you intended the humor or are just being the good, little soldier. Best wishes.

Now I ask you, what could be milder than that? Notwithstanding the penetrating wit, the cowardly Huffington Post Censors got on their high horse and blitzed this gem. The rats! Evidently, this illitrate crew stands in daily terror of not sucking up to Republican hot shots. Either that or they have one of those whacky quota systems. Phew!
This is the third in the continuing series detailing the idiotic behavior of Censors backstage at the Huffington Post. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Huffington Post Censors Are Big Fat Idiots

In his August 3, 2008 article on the Huffington Post excoriating New York Times Op-Ed columnist Michael Gerson for inventing facts for a column, blogger David Sirota said:

"Michael Gerson's column suggesting Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter for vice-president is the latest example of someone paid to report the facts actually refusing to do 5 minutes of work to, ya know, report the facts."

Yours truly snarkily observed:
Is this the same Michael Gerson who was President Bush's head speechwriter, 2001-2006? [it is] If so, it might explain a lot. Maybe it's harder to get rid of the stupid than we think.
This Socratic-like witticism was summarily deleted by the always challenged Huffington Post Censors. The rats!

Comment on the comment: Where Mr. Sirota, in effect, was calling Mr. Gerson a liar, yours truly was merely noting Mr. Gerson had spent 5 years writing stupid speeches for our fearless President and may not yet have fully recovered. Sheesh! Get a clue, Huffington Post Censors.
This is the second in the continuing series detailing the idiotic behavior of Censors backstage at the Huffington Post. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

How To Deal With Huffington Post Rejectionitis

We've all had the experience. You craft a snarky, non-profane, non-ad hominem comment on a blog and the darned blog censors blitz it out, forever putting paid to your attempts to be a half-wit.

Well, to heck with all that. From now on, each Huffington Post comment reject goes here. Entries may contain additional material (such as how dumb the HP censors are and why), thus offering further demonstrations of why I don't do this for a living.

Candidate numero uno: "Marketing, Nationalism and the Olympics Launch an Era of Volunteerism in China" by Courtney Woo, 8/3/2008, in which Blogger Woo extols the glories of the thousands of Chinese "volunteers" fielded to serve as minders and whatnot during the Beijing Olympics.

The comment:

The beautiful thing about volunteering for something in a totalitarian state is that if, for example, you don't volunteer for building that rail line, you're arrested and sentenced to work building that rail line. The upside is that as a prisoner, you get a free uniform. Keep smiling, Chinese volunteers.

Moral of the story: Don't criticize the People's Republic of China or the Chinese Communist party if the blogger's name is "Woo."
This is the first in the continuing series detailing the idiotic behavior of Censors backstage at the Huffington Post. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Bill O'Reilly's Seminar On Stage Directions

Thanks to the CollegeHumor website. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

JFK Assassination: You Can't Handle The Truth, Part II

In a previous post, the possibility was raised that John F. Kennedy's assassination might have been prompted by concerns within the government about possible mental instability brought on by Kennedy's prescription drug abuse.

Feeding into that possibility is the claim by CIA counterintelligence chief James Angleton that he found evidence Kennedy experimented with LSD during his affair with Mary Pinchot Meyer, ex-wife of another CIA official, Cord Meyer.

Ms. Meyer said she obtained the LSD from Dr. Timothy Leary, the era's most well-known counterculture guru.

Mary Meyer was found dead October 12, 1964 as a result of two close-range gunshot wounds, one to the back of the head and one to the heart. The murder remains unsolved. Biographer C. David Heymann reports that when he asked ex-husband Cord Meyer in a February 2001 interview who had killed his former wife, he replied: "The same sons of bitches that killed John F. Kennedy." Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Clean, Cheap, Unlimited Energy: Why You Can't Have It

Imagine an energy source that is unlimited, clean, safe, and available now. An energy source that is so scalable, it can be used to power anything from an 18-wheel truck to a city the size of New York. An energy source for which all the science and most of the engineering has already been done. An energy source so clean that it has a zero carbon and nuclear footprint. An energy source so safe, you could put an infant care center next door to it. An energy source that can be retrofitted to every fossil fired or nuclear fired power plant on the planet. An energy source for which you'd pay a tiny fraction of what you pay today for electricity. A technology which the United States could export and earn trillions of dollars in foreign exchange credits.

Sound like a fairy tale? It's not. It's been available since October 2006, but the Bush Administration killed it because it needed the insignificant amount of money required to fund it's final engineering development for the Iraq War. What's worse, its inventor and project leader died in 2007.

Dr. Robert Bussard, the inventor of what's called the Polywell Farnsworth-fusor, was one of those rare individuals able to bridge the gap between theoretical physics and practical engineering. While at NASA, he developed a nuclear propulsion system that could have taken us at a fraction of current costs in a single-stage rocket from the surface of the Earth to the surface of Mars in two weeks and back again, instead of the months and billions required for multi-stage chemical rockets. It would have reduced our moon landings to day trips. That project was killed as a result of internecine warfare at NASA. NASA's big ticket contractors correctly saw the end of their costlier, less effective systems in that developed by Dr. Bussard and successfully lobbied to kill it. While still at NASA, Dr. Bussard also designed an interstellar ramjet that could propel a vessel to the stars. That, too, still sits somewhere on a forgotten NASA shelf.

When the Navy decided it needed a smaller, safer power plant for its nuclear fleet, it hired Dr. Bussard to make it happen. He succeeded beyond their wildest dreams, coming up with the now scrapped fusion reactor that could have changed human society and history and saved the planet.

There are three obstacles that need to be surmounted before this technology can benefit us. The first are scientifically illiterate Washington politicians in Congress and the White House who seldom make wise decisions on anything more complex than bridges to nowhere. Next are the web of university and private research organizations that benefit from the non-performing but enormously lucrative big ticket programs administered by the Department of Energy. Finally, there are the private energy companies whose fossil fuel and nuclear products will be rendered obsolete by this new technology.

Taken together, these obstacles may well be insurmountable. It may take a private actor like a Warren Buffet or a Bill Gates to provide the roughly $200 million required to fund a demonstration project. Make no mistake, however. If this is funded in the private sector, whoever steps up to the plate will become not only a social icon but the planet's first trillionaire.

For a good explanation of Dr. Bussard's technology, see the WikiPedia article on the Polywell Farnsworth-fusor (also known as Electrostatic Confinement Fusion).

Before he died, Dr. Bussard gave a talk to Google employees about his new fusion technology:

Listen also to this earlier interview.

Dr. Bussard's original website: Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Truth About The Surge: Iraq Is A Failed State

Freelance reporter Nir Rosen was invited to testify before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee last Wednesday, April 2, 2008. Mr. Rosen is a highly respected journalist who has reported extensively on Iraq as both an embedded reporter and independently. His written statement, submitted to the Committee before he testified, is available here.

Some of his more telling comments:

Today Iraq does not exist. It has no government. It is like Somalia, different fiefdoms controlled by warlords and their militias.

Now thanks to the Americans the Sunnis, formerly on the run, are once again confident, and control their own territory. The Mahdi Army is consolidating its forces, ridding itself of unruly elements and waiting for the inevitable reduction in American troops. Iraqi
Security Forces will also be able to once again operate with impunity when there are less Americans present. Both sides are getting ready to resume fighting.

Iraq remains an extremely unstable and failed state, with many years of bloodshed left before an equilibrium is attained. There is no reconciliation occurring between the two warring communities, and Shiites will not allow the territorial gains they made to be chipped away by Sunnis returning to their homes, or Sunni militias being empowered.

Most embedded journalists, just like embedded politicians and embedded members of think tanks on Washington’s K Street or Massachusetts Avenue, lack language skills and time on the ground in Iraq—and since they are white, they cannot travel around Baghdad without attracting attention and getting kidnapped or killed. They know nothing about Iraq except what they gain through second- or third-hand knowledge, too often provided by equally disconnected members of the US military. Recently we have seen positive articles about events in Iraq published by so called experts such as Anthony Cordesmen, Michael O’Hanlon, Kenneth Pollock, Fred Kagan and even former members of the Coalition Provisional Council such as Dan Senor. These men speak no Arabic and cannot get around without their babysitters from the American military. But it seems that the more they get wrong, these and other propagandists for the war, such as Thomas Friedman, manage to maintain their credibility.

According to his WikiPedia entry:
Nir Rosen (born 1977 in New York City) is a journalist and a chronicler of the Iraq War. Rosen writes on current and international affairs.

Rosen is best known for his writings on the rise of violence in Iraq following the 2003 invasion, which form the basis of his first book, In the Belly of the Green Bird (2006). He spent more than two years in Iraq reporting on the Coalition occupation, the relationship between Americans and Iraqis, the development of postwar Iraqi religious and political movements, inter-ethnic and sectarian relations, and the Iraqi civil war.

He regularly contributes to leading periodicals, such as Atlantic Monthly, the Washington Post, the New York Times Magazine, the Boston Review, and Harper's. He contributed to the footage of Iraq in Charles Ferguson's documentary No End In Sight and was also interviewed for the film.

Nir Rosen is a fellow at the New York University Center on Law and Security, and a former fellow of the New America Foundation. In September 2007, he was the C.V. Starr Distinguished Visitor at the American Academy in Berlin. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Results Of The November 2008 National Elections

This is a duplicate of a comment on the Huffington Post

The decline of Sen. Obama's quest for the Presidency and the likelihood of a Clinton nomination is a die that was cast the moment the Clinton campaign made the decision on the kitchen sink strategy before the Ohio/Texas primaries.

My sense is that Sen. Clinton will go into the Democratic convention with the tide on her side and will successfully convince enough superdelegates to get on board to secure the nomination. John McCain will defeat Sen. Clinton with what I predict as 60% of the popular vote to her 36-38%, depending on the level of activity of the Nader candidacy.

The only question the November election will decide is the fate of the current Democratic majorities in the House and Senate. The Senate is up for grabs with perhaps the Democrats maintaining a smaller majority in the House, but only if Sen. Clinton doesn't actively campaign for Democratic candidates.

Democrats might manage a comeback in 2012, but only if there is a major restructuring of the party to include a purge of its conservative DLC component, a rethinking of Democratic goals and ideals, and a more electable candidate than in this election cycle.

I'm bookmarking this post so that on November 5th I can rub everyone's nose in it. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Sunday, March 16, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Foreign political donations: was the Senator against them before he was for them, or vice versa? Related question: which member of the Senator's entourage will be going to jail for violating U.S. election law by accepting foreign donations?

Senator McCain as well as members of his staff adamantly denied there was anything remotely political about his trip to Europe and the Middle East this week. Shortly later, Jill Hazelbaker, McCain's campaign spokeswoman and former dirty tricks operative in the 2006 Senate campaign, said that Congress will be reimbursed for the political portions of the trip.

As part of his "non-political" trip, Senator McCain will attend a fundraising event hosted by British investment banker Lord Jacob Rothschild. Attendees are required to fork over between $1,000 and $2,300 for the honor. Oddly enought, $2,300 is the maximum legal donation a candidate can accept from an individual in the Presidential primary.

As is our policy, we are still awaiting a statement from Senator McCain which is neither delusional nor an outright lie. Extra points may be awarded for believability. Judges' decisions are final. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Presidential Interviews: Barack Obama Answers Several Charges Leveled Against Him And His Supporters

ANNOUNCER: Now our own Wendy Terwilliger grills Presidential candidate Barack Obama on new charges that have surfaced from the Clinton and McCain campaigns. Wendy?

WENDY: Thank you, Charles. Senator Obama, it has been charged that as many as several million of your supporters have had sex with a partner other than their spouse. Do you support such behavior by still accepting their support?

OBAMA: Thank you for that question, Wendy, and thank you for having me here today. As my Reverend, Jeremiah Wright, has said, hate the sin but love the sinner. I would have to say that, while I have nothing personally against fornicators, I do denounce and reject their actions.

WENDY: But you still accept their support? Doesn't that sound hypocritical?

OBAMA: Well, when you put it like that, Wendy, I do both reject and denounce their support. Absolutely.

WENDY: Senator, charges have also surfaced that additional millions of your supporters have lied to their employer about their health in order to get at least one fraudulent paid sick day. Do you support this kind of lying and fraud?

OBAMA: Of course not, Wendy. Lying and fraud are serious matters and no one should engage in such activity.

WENDY: And do you denounce and reject support from those people, as well?

OBAMA: Yes. Yes I do. I both denounce and reject support from liars and frauds.

WENDY: I hate to hammer you on these points, Senator, but it has also been reported that many millions of your supporters have driven vehicles, on the highway, after having imbibed alcoholic beverages, thus putting at risk millions of America's tiny babies. Do you denounce and reject these people as well?

OBAMA: I denounce and reject support from anyone who has ever had a drink and then driven. Absolutely.

WENDY: Thank you for appearing today, Senator. According to our instant polling it appears that after all your denunciations are totaled, there remains only one person who you have not denounced and rejected, an Independent voter in Maine who has never been in a town.

OBAMA: I denounce and reject him, as well. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Friday, March 14, 2008

Great Moments Of The Rich And Famous: Presidents Collection

President Taft's Claim to Fame Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Life, The Exploding Universe, And The Meaning Of Reality

If you have a lot of time on your hands, and you think about it really hard, for as much sense as it makes, the universe could just as well be constructed of chicken soup. It would obey the same laws of physics but would taste better than dark matter or the flames from a dying star.

I'm going to the kitchen to see if there's more of that wine left. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 8, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Today, Senator John McCain announced he wanted to rule over Hell.

Speaking before a crowd in Atlanta, Georgia, the Senator identified the location of Hell -- Washington, D.C. -- but avoided making the logical inference that this made McCain endorser George W. Bush the current King of Hell.

McCain, who up to now has been but a lowly Prince of Hell (U.S. Senator), also avoided commenting on the curious "Hot Dog Endorsement" by current King of Hell, Texas dandee George W. Bush, in his quest for overlordship of the infernal regions. McCain and the King reportedly shared hot dogs before announcing the King's endorsement.

Also not answered, the significance of the hot dog. Some have opined that it referred to Sen. McCain's status within the inner depths of the Republican Party as the "Hot Dog" candidate. Others have wondered if there wasn't some secret party ritual involved, similar to those perpetrated in the infamous Skull 'n Bones initiation the current King of Hell endured when pledging that secret society at Yale University back in his drinking and/or snorting days.

As is our policy, we are still awaiting a statement from Senator McCain which is neither delusional nor an outright lie.

Late-breaking afterthought: Wonder if Senator McCain's discovery of the location of Hell and his vow to pursue Osama bin Laden to the Gates of Hell means he will begin his pursuit in Chevy Chase, Maryland? Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Great Movie Ideas From Real Life, Part 1

Title: "Honey, I Shrunk the Lead"
Stars: Bill, Hil

Synopsis: Campaign managers tell startled Bill every time he speaks, Hil's voter backing shrinks. Bill mistakenly thinks this mean Hil's voters are actually, physically shrinking. Hilarity ensues. Bill finally confesses to Hil he doesn't really know what the Hil he's doing.

Roll credits. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

"Requiem For A Lightweight" In Which I Share Deep Thots About The Life And Times Of The Late Bill Buckley, Noted TV Huckster

Bill Buckley made only two mistakes in life:

  1. Creating the Conservative Movement.
  2. Letting the riffraff in.
Bill Buckley never met a contrarian he didn't copy, figuring out early in life how to make money promoting other peoples' bad ideas.

If Washington, D.C. is where good ideas go to die, Bill's magazine, the Weekly Standard, was where bad ideas went to be fruitful and multiply.

Although Bill was of the right, he was never right, a proud tradition carried on by his acolytes in what are today sarcastically called "think tanks."

Do "progressives" need their own Bill Buckley? It's a little like asking if liberals need their own Joe McCarthy.

Buckley hitched his wagon to the stars of billionaires with extreme right wing ideologies, ideologies that just happened to advance their own economic interests. That's really all one needs to know about Bill Buckley. All the rest, including his own circuitous rants, are mere window-dressing.

Bill's epitaph:

Here Lies William F. Buckley, Jr.
Again, and again, and again. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Aboard the Straight Talk Express, candidate McCain struggles with his inner dumbass...

You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was.

Amazingly, this actually qualifies as "a statement which is neither delusional nor an outright lie." It's why Senator McCain is fast becoming the darling of the right. Maybe.

Thanks to "The Caucus," a blog on the website of the dreaded New York Times and to Cristina Page writing at the Huffington Post. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Friday, February 1, 2008

This Space Reserved For A Statement By Senator John McCain Which Is Neither Delusional Nor An Outright Lie

Still waiting...

Thanks to Brave New Films Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Let Freedom Ring

Courtesy of Juan Cole and YouTube. Digg Stumble Upon Toolbar propeller Furl