Why Ron Paul Keeps Getting Elected To Congress

Yeah, I know. It's usually a show-stopper for me, too whenever I see the words, "Ron Paul" in print.

Mr. Paul owns the distinction of falling for every half-wit and/or loony theory that has ever come down the pike in the history of the world, then waxing prolix about it in that boring-annoying way of his.

Most people credit his political longevity in Congress to the fact the voters in his district are morons.

I beg to differ. The voters of the Texas 14th Congressional District, stretching along the Gulf Coast from Mustang Island in the West to Chambers County in the East, are among the most highly intelligent people in the nation. They also have an extremely well developed and wicked sense of humor. I ought to know. I used to live there.

I can tell you for a fact that you can almost hear them thinking in the election booths just before they pull the handle for Rep. Paul. "Call us Lone Star voters morons, huh bub? Let's see how you deal with this jackass."

Which is pretty much what all Texans are thinking in the voting booth when choosing their Congressional delegation. Explains a lot, doesn't it? The Fighting Fourteenth is preeminent because it just happens to own the dullest tack in the box. And the best sense of humor.

History Rhymes Again

Remember back in the Good Old Days when for years and years we were slaughtering all those pesky farmers in Southeast Asia because each succeeding President "didn't want to be the first American President to lose a war?"

Guess what.

I Saw An Ad On The Internet With Obama's IQ And Had My First Twinge Of Doubt

The ad said, "Obama's IQ is 128, Is your's higher?, Take this test and see."

I'd already taken the test, so I knew mine was higher. How weird is that? He got the Oval Office and all I got was this lousy blog.

But the frisson I felt wasn't about being theoretically smarter than the President of the United States, it was that number, "128."

You see, that was my late father's IQ. My father was a notorious con artist who specialized in faking different roles in life. In his time, he successfully faked being everything from a motor pool manager to a psychologist to a ship's captain.

Rather than put in the years on the job for the experience or go to school for the training, he'd simply go to a library, find a book on the subject, and show up the next day for the interview. He was always hired. Must have given a hell of an interview.

And he always got caught. He was smart enough to fake it, just not smart enough to avoid pissing somebody off so they'd try to get something on him. Background checks are a bitch.

It's a funny story how I found out my father's IQ, but I'll let it slide.

As for Obama, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Words You Don't Want To Hear In The Middle Of A Firefight With Space Aliens

"We need a bigger gun."

Pentagon Calls Higher Number Of Rapes At Air Force Academy "Encouraging"

From the same folks who let Osama escape. Maybe we now know why they were so distracted. Full story here.