Clickers

PRESIDENT BUSH: I'm announcin' today I've accepted the secret Baker Commission Report option everybody's callin' Plan F. Now, I can't tell you exactly what it is 'cause we don't wanna give our enemies a heads up, but I can tell you it involves cast iron bathtubs with those little feet and these clickers, you know, the kind they gave the parachute guys in that movie, what was it, D-Day or something? Questions.

FIRST REPORTER: Mr. President, will this result in starting to bring our troops back home anytime soon?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Boy, you guys really have your hobby horse, don't you? Those brave American soldiers and soldierettes are stayin' there until the job is done or die tryin', just like they want.

FIRST REPORTER: Followup, Mr. President. When you say, "cast iron bathtubs", would that be actual bathtubs or is that the name of a new weapons system?

PRESIDENT BUSH: I don't know how much cleaner I can make it. Call on Miss Coulter.

ANN COULTER: Mr. President, when will you or members of your administration start rounding up disloyal reporters and sending them to Camp XRay so they can be interrogated in a totally legal way like they so richly deserve?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Glad you asked that. Boy, I need that guy on TV, that Dog the Booty Hunter fella. I'll tell you later when we have that private meeting for our exclusive interview in the Washington Times.

ANN COULTER: Followup, Mr. President. Do you have the cigar or should I bring one?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Er, why don't you bring one just to be on the safe side again. Heh-heh-heh. Okay, that's it. (turns back and leaves)

SECOND REPORTER: Jeez, I didn't even get a chance to ask my clickers question.

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